sunday, 30 avril, 2000

so i knew this day would come, and i'd been both dreading it and awaiting it with eager anticipation at the same time. today was the one year anniversary of my father's death, but was also the day of the millenium march on washington. unbelievable joy mixed with unbeliveable saddness. what a mind-frying 24 hours.

the morning went slowly. i talked with maggie for a bit to discuss possible plans to drive home together and how we were dealing with mom today. she said that she'd called her and she was crying, so as soon as i hung up i called mom. i had planned on calling later, but in hindsight it was good i called when i did as she was on her way to the cemetary and i probably would have been so caught up i would have forgotten.

we finally got out the door and i went with serena down to the rally where we heard melissa ethridge sing and ellen degeneres and anne hesch speak amongst other dignitaries from the family and our allies. we met up with marc and a friend of his there, who still is ambiguously dropping hints that he's interested in me but still will not divulge the nature of that interest, be it romantic or as a friend. then we went into the festival in search of carl and aaron, whom we found in good spirits enjoying the festivities. we went off in search of fred phelps and his godhatesfags crew to pester them and marc and his friend went off to meet some of their people. upon the discovery that the protesters had left, we went back to the dorm and chilled for a bit before heading off to get food and then meander up to dupont.

we wandered around conneticut avenue for a bit and then met up with marc at xandos north, and proceeded to migrate to xandos south for coffee and smores, where serena met this incredibly cute girl who works there and chatted with her for a bit. marc had to go and meet up with this guy from fort lauderdale who he'd met earier at the rally, and carl and aaron set out back to nashville at around 10pm. serena and i were left to wait for this girl who she'd talked to who said she was going on a beer run. we got sick of waiting and decided to go home, so mara put my numbers on a note for the girl on the truck she'd been in earlier.

a block before we got home she called my cellphone, so we ran back really quickly to mitchell and then struck back for xandos again. we got there and chatted for several hours and then headed back so i could do some work. i ran into lizzy and a friend of hers on the porch and gave her some tips on her paper about her interview with me and then we wandered up to my room.

i missed this stupid mandatory conference on friday and saturday from my english 11 course that we have a response paper due for tomorrow, and at first i'd thought i would just get the info secondhand and write my paper from that, but then i came to the realization that angela [the teacher], being the primary faculty organizer of the event and having a student in nearly every panel, was there for the whole thing and would know that i wasn't. i therefore have spent the last few hours panicking over my inability to complete such a stressed assignment, calculating my best and worst possible gpa outcomes to calm myself over the insignifigance of this paper in the whole, and writing a letter to angela begging for some way to otherwise make this up. my day is packed tomorrow and tuesday with everything i haven't already done but need to, and it upsets me that i won't be able to spend more time with serena while she's here, but i know i can see her again in two weeks when i'm home, so i'll deal with it and get my academic ducks in a row before i waste any more studytime.

this day has been awful and wonderful, and i can honestly say that without serena here i would have had an wretched weekend, but she has brought life and sanity to an otherwise dead weekend for me. i have faith that all will work out regarding finals and papers and what not, so i refuse to concern myself with what i have done wrong or not done at all at the moment. i must sleep now, as i have to be up in three and a half hours to start my full-to-the-brim day. maybe i'll be able to go into greater detail about all this later.

goodnight for now.